Different NOT less

the back garage comes tumbling down

You would be so proud of the boys. William has gotten all your facial expressions down pat. Andrew loves wearing your hats around the house and is doing very well in school. Spring is slow in coming up but we are still spending a lot of time outside. They play baseball, soccer and basketball, in addition to riding their bikes like madmen. When I play ball with Will I think of you. Those hours we spent in the yard throwing the softball around. They were the best times I can remember from my childhood. 

When they get on their bikes I am reminded of our vacations to Cape May when we would ride everywhere. You never let us get too far behind. We are tearing down the back garage on April 18th. I am hoping to get our bikes out and repaired and build the memories on the bike path with the boys that I shared with you.

Your brother called the other day. It was strained, he doesn’t know what to say to me, nor I to him. He felt bad he hadn’t called me. But we never really talked much before unless it was about you. And now our common ground is gone.

I did get your “messages”. And yes I sent your wife flowers for her birthday. I wanted so much to sign your name since you were the reason I sent them but I didn’t want to hurt her. So I signed them from the kids.

We are considering moving back to your hometown in Maryland. But I am not sure I am ready to leave the memories of you  and my friends I have here. How I wish for your advice. 

I miss you much and love you always,

me

nyfishergal:

Don’t get me wrong… my husband is the ultimate guy-friend.  But you know what I mean?? Having male friends around to do things with… fun things.. nothing sexual, or lewd… just fun guys who look at you like a sister and take care of you, and look out for you, and just have fun with you.

I really miss that.

I do too…. most of my friends in high school were guys, my three best male friends, Andrew Dan and Jason, we would drive around in my beat up old car for hours, blaring music and eating pixie sticks…. I miss those times.

God its flown by…. your parents always tell you time flies but I never really thought it did till I had children. After 5 years of infertility we got pregnant. We were living in an apartment complex less than a mile from where we ended up buying a house.

I had a scheduled c-section, 7 am on Thursday March 25th. He was 12 pounds 4 ounces, 22 inches long. My sister came up and stayed with us and brought her 5 month old. She was the same size as my newborn.

On day 3 Andrew started having seizures… he was the biggest baby in the special care nursery. In all the chaos I didn’t read all the discharge forms completely, apparently neither did the nursing staff, because they allowed me to stay on the fold out couch in the family care room after I was discharged.

When my Dr saw me in there he flipped. I was NOT to sleep on that again I was to sleep at home. So the next night I went home, and woke up at 6 am to get to the hospital for his 7am feeding. I got up got dressed and drove myself to the hospital 20 minutes away. My mother in law called my house and asked my husband where I was. He looked for me and then looked at the clock, oh she must be at the hospital. How did she get there? she asked.. I guess she drove? he told her.  Little did I know but I was not supposed to drive for 2 weeks…. oops…. My Dr was checking in on Andrew and when he saw me without David he looked alarmed, I knew at that point I probably shouldn’t have been driving so I lied and said hubby had dropped me off. I got busted by a nurse in the parking lot later, but she never told my Dr.

Andrew came home on day 6 , March 31, 2004 on a seizure medication and a script for an eeg. He had a full head of reddish brown hair and was very pink.. and chubby. Eventually at 10 months he was weaned form his medications, and we never saw another seizure.. knock on wood.

How I love my chubba bubba baby boy who is not a baby or a chubba bubba.

ellohellokitty:

So my company succeeded in making my best pal miserable and getting rid of her…guess it is my turn. Wish I could just skip right to the getting rid of part :-(

I hate them with a burning passion… grrrr